Op-Ed: All I’m Trying to do is work the Front Desk of Trump Tower but People Keep Flipping Me Off

By: Alex Peters


I just don’t understand this city sometimes. It’s beautiful, the way the skyscrapers line up along the Lakeshore, the hustle and bustle of the streets below, but honestly, I think it would be even more breathtaking if people weren’t constantly flipping me off while I’m just trying to do my job!

I’ve noticed it ever since I started working at Trump tower, which was about 4 months ago. I guess the person before me quit after a nervous breakdown. At first, I thought the flip-offs were a fluke, but then, it became a trend. Some people made direct eye contact as they forcefully lifted their middle finger. For other people, they gave me no more than a passing glance before turning away, and just letting it hang there for a while. Sometimes, they wouldn’t even look at me at all! They’d take selfies in front of me with their middle fingers pointed to the sky! There’s honestly a chance I’m famous on Instagram, but not in a good way.

Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing wrong. Could they be signs from God? Constant reminders of my sinful ways? Have I honestly cut off 2,438 people in traffic since moving here?

Other times, I wonder if maybe they aren’t aiming their fingers towards me. Could these people possibly think they’re staging a protest by pointing a finger towards a building?

Hey, I voted for Hillary, I participated in the women’s marches, and I plan on campaigning for Kamala next year… They must not realize there’s collateral damage from that finger bird missile, and it’s me! And my coworker Brooke, I guess.

It wasn’t even supposed to be like this! When I graduated from Michigan State last year, I thought the world would be open to me and my Liberal Arts degree, but sadly this is the only job with health insurance I could get. I tried finding work related to my minor but the market for sociologists seems to have dried up for some reason.

I don’t like him either but, his stupid fat name is on my paycheck, and I have bills to pay. I can’t march for Bernie if I don’t have shoes.

I’m not asking you to stop flipping off the tower. I get it. It’s a surefire way to get a lot of likes on The Gram, and God knows we all need those dopamine hits… just… maybe throw up a thumbs up afterwards for me? Or like.. a sign or something. “ NOT YOU ALEX” would work…Maybe even a hashtag! And maybe you could even add Brooke’s name to that. She’s super sweet. I don’t know her politics.

We try to avoid that topic here.