Brilliant! This man is pretending to be a sports fan so he has an excuse to be an asshole at work!

By Dylan Siegfried

While being forced to watch the Bears suffer through another heartbreaking loss this weekend, Brody Wilson realized an absurd benefit of fanaticism; nobody cares if you're an asshole if your favorite team just lost.

Wilson, a 4th generation asshole ever since his Great-Great Grandfather pushed a pregnant woman out of the way to get a better spot in line at Ellis Island, has found it harder and harder to find legitimate reasons to be a verbally abusive butthole to people. "You used to just be able to berate people but now you need a 'reason'," he said with air quotes. Luckily for Wilson, people still find being an overly passionate sports fan somewhat endearing.

To maximize these benefits, Wilson is calling himself a "reverse bandwagoner”. He purposefully seeks out the worst performing team so he can use their many losses as an excuse for his naturally dickish demeanor. Said Wilson, "I've never felt more like myself. I should've been a Chicago Bears fan years ago."

Wilson found that the days that the Bears aren't playing are made easier because he can really blow a gasket when they do lose. When asked what he'll do if the Bears ever start winning; with a wink he said, "I suppose I'll just buy a new jersey."

At press time, Wilson was walking away with a big smile on his face to announce company-wide layoffs.